Tuesday, January 17, 2012

What do you want for Christmas, little girl?

That's how I feel. Like Santa pulled through.

I haven't written in this blog for two years. That's way too long. It's been a difficult two years ... I would say the most difficult of my life to date. But even in the midst of my trials I saw blessings. I'll have to write about those.

The two year marathon ended November 30th of the past year with the death of my mother. In some ways, this brings a whole new set of trials. In others, there is vast relief. The last three weeks of my mother's life, she was home with the support of hospice. They were tremendous. But I was the main care-giver. I did things for my mom that I never dreamed I'd be able to do.

It was during this time that I was released from my calling. The bishop wisely knew that I needed that time to focus on my family. I was heartbroken. I'd been Young Women's president for just under a year. I did NOT feel ready to let go of that. But after my mom passed, and I found that I needed not only a break of time, but an emotional break as well, I started to feel grateful.

Looking around the ward in late December, I scoped out my options. What positions were not filled? There were several. And I saw the one I wanted. The cookie in the jar with MY name on it. I was tempted to campaign. But sadly I just don't feel good about that. The second week of January I got the call ... please come in a few minutes early to church. I was meeting with the counselor over Primary and Scouts. One was my calling. The other, I knew, would be certain death. Well, that's pretty dramatic. Not death. Torture. Yes. Certain torture.

And guess what? I got MY calling. For the first time I can ever remember, I got the calling I wanted. Not the one I felt was coming. Not some blow to the head with something unexpected. The one I wanted. I'm afraid I acted a little like a crazy person. I actually cheered. The bishopric wasn't sure if I was kidding. I don't kid well about emotions. I really was thrilled. Am thrilled.

I feel like God is telling me, "Mina, you've been through a lot. I'm sorry. Hopefully you'll find that you've grown. I wish all the hard parts were over, but they're not. So in the mean time, here's your calling. The one you want. Have fun. I love you."

On to the fun!